wow...

So I finally had my appointment. The doctor was really great. He took 2.5 hours with me. In a conference room he sat and talked to me for that long. I was impressed.

If this cycle does not end in pregnancy I will be slotted for IVF next cycle. We spent a long time looking over my history and whatnot and it is what we both feel is the best route.

I had a feeling it would be but there is still this shock. I would never have thought this would be where I would be at. I am sure few ever think this will be their path but sheesh it does give one pause.

I am excited to have a plan, t be able to move forward, but it is frightening all the same. Not the procedures, not even the drugs, it is just the fact that it is sort of the end of the line. The big guns. If it doesn't work, or if 2 or 3 tries don't work then there is no place left to go towards this end. I think THAT is the frightening part.

I never thought I would end up getting IVF but it was always the last ditch effort, the last hope, the end of the road just in case in the far recesses of my psyche. I think it led me to never think about any possibility of not having another child grow inside me of my own egg. Now that it is here and I am looking at it just a possible few short weeks away it is pretty unnerving.

I still have some insurance info I am waiting on but all looks good so far on that front.

So now I am in another 2ww, hoping it will happen that I do not have to take this leap, but so very grateful I have the option.