moving on... (updated)

I had an OB appointment yesterday. I had gained 6 pounds, my first gain so far which brings me up 3 pounds in total so far. I have decided no more bagels for breakfast. I am not stressed but think 6 is likely about 2-3 of bagel and 3-4 other. The doc said she agreed, that I would eventually be gaining but the 6 was likely the Holidays. Since I did not eat a bunch of cookies or anything the bagels, which have always been a downfall of mine since I slather them with both butter and cream cheese, are a likely source.

Breakfast had been so difficult for so long that being able to eat a bagel was pretty much a luxury. I shall now try cream of wheat with blueberries.

I measured 26 weeks (I was 24 weeks 4 days yesterday) and the heartbeat was 156. She ordered another glucose test which I knew she was planning this month and we went over a few things but all was good.

I am at that stage where often I will have to go pee and the pressure will build fast and I will get to a bathroom only to go approximately an eighth of a cup. So NOT satisfying!!! It isn't every time but often enough to be irritating.

I still do not feel pregnant to myself in many ways, I wish I could explain it but part of me feels like I will be uncovered as a fraud at any moment. I am still feeling the baby, since x-mas and it is HUGELY reassuring, but even with that, and the waddle, and the back ache, and the pressure, I still feel like I can't be pregnant.

I think part of it is the whole getting what I so desperately wanted after sooooo long (3 years of trying) and not really believing it in some sense. After I had Bliss I couldn't believe I was a mama. I would pinch my arms a lot, I had bruises for the first 6 months of his life up and down my arms from doing it but I just could not believe I got my biggest wildest most important dream come true. I think this is like that, and while I have not begun to pinch myself again (yet) I have this unreality thing going on in my head that is such a trip.

Everyone once and a while I look at roomie and declare "I am pregnant" and she just looks at me blankly with this "what is your problem" look on her face and nods and says "yes you are." Poor woman puts up with a lot but does not get me at all (not that many do).

Anyhow all is well and I am packing most every day. This week we tackle the garage which is my most dreaded part but we will get it done, slowly but surely.

Also I want to just put on here, I am VERY aware people of the weather in Atlantic Canada. I also know snow, have liked in both Chicago and Colorado and picked the climate very purposefully. I am looking forward to it, I have a back up generator already and know shoveling snow will be part of the rest of my life. PLEASE no worries on those fronts.

UPDATE: Mrs. Spock's comment made me think of something I wanted to add. I find it interesting how when people are raised in climates with snow and they yearn to move to Florida or California everyone seems to nod in an understanding way and concur but it doesn't seem to work the opposite way. I was raised in Southern California during the drought. I went years without even seeing rain during my childhood. Living now in Northern California is better but a far cry from what I have yearned for. To me it is the same thing as growing up in New York and wanting to move to Miami but for some reason others don't seem to see it that way.

Just pondering.