Thursday, April 23, 2009

40 weeks 3 days...

Saw doc again today. Nothing has really changed, he said maybe a bit thinner in the cervix but he couldn't even break my waters if I wanted because it is still so high. I don't want that as of yet but it was frustrating to hear nonetheless.

I had an NST after, which was fine. Doc said we will see where i am next week and then discuss things. I would really like to just wait and wait, some women have 10 month babies as a rule. Do not argue this with me I spent years researching all of this. But you see I had 4 days of labor with Bliss and never dilated and I have no thyroid so I may be incapable of ever dilating, or even going into spontaneous labor. And because I have had a c/s I cannot have pitocin, which I do NOT want anyway, but because of all of this I know after 42 weeks I will likely have to say yes to another c/s.

I am not freaking out about all of this I am just sad that I may never experience vaginal birth, that I may never feel the ring of fire. That is MY wish and I will mourn it if and when I need to. In the meantime I am taking evening primrose oil, black and blue cohosh and staying active.

Bliss is trying to be patient but wants the baby here yesterday. We are doing well but I keep finding myself staring at him sleeping more, and trying to enjoy our last moments as just us more. The house is coming along and we are very happy in it. If the weather clears I may get to take him fishing for the first time on our pond in the next few days, but shhhh don't tell him yet.

I got to talk on the phone to Annacyclopedia and it MADE MY WHOLE WEEK!!!! That was such a delight!! She had the smart idea to put the blue cohosh in a grape (I only have it in tincture and it is NASTY) with a syringe (gee I wonder if I have those, HA!) and although the grape didn't work the small cherry/grape tomato worked like a charm. Thanks Anna!!!!!!!!

So that is all for now, believe me folks I will let ya'll know when somethings changes. In the meantime I am hanging out eating homemade Donairs (out new Canadian discovery we are loving) and trying to say mellow.

14 om's.:

MrsSpock said...

If I ever get another chance at pregnancy, I will be in the same boat as you. I know a few OBs who would try and use a sniff of pitocin on a VBAC mom, but I would never allow that for myself.

I would feel sad too if I never got the chance to feel what the urge to push felt like. In fact, I was just thinking of that tonight. My midwife had me use evening primrose as a suppository, and she swore by it, though it did nothing for me. Of course, J was already stuck up there, and there was no pressure on my cervix to help it along.

If it's OK with you, I would love to send a little something for you, Bliss, and Soul. If that's OK, email me at mrsspock9@gmail.com.

Sending good laborish vibes your way!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Aaah, my heart leaped when I saw your blog pop up in Reader. Just holding you in my heart right now, Strawberry.

battynurse said...

I'm sorry things haven't started moving along yet. I hope that they do on their own soon. Glad you are getting settled in your house though. I tried calling Monday when I was off work but must have missed you. I'll try again sometime next week when I'm off. Right now I'm doing the work schedule from hell.

owlie said...

Thinking of you. sending much love and luck and dilating vibes.

MaverickMama said...

I wish for you the birth experience you desire. I have more in my heart to write, but will wish you the best because my precious boy is waking.

Cece said...

WEll - been thinking of you a lot hun! Can't wait to see what you are baking in there. I'm guessing girl, by the way.

HUGS

annacyclopedia said...

It was so great to talk to you and hear your voice, too.

Glad the tomato trick worked, and I'm sending you opening, blossoming, softening vibes today and everyday until that little one makes its entrance.

Gia said...

Come on baby!!! you have been long awaited!!!!!

LJ said...

I bet Bliss isn't the only one who wants that baby to show up! I can't believe it's time already. What a joyous spring.

Fat Chick said...

I feel you on the vaginal birth experience. I've been told I'm wierd for really wanting to experience that, and I just don't get why women WOULDN'T want to. Each to her own, I guess.

And BTW, I'm soooo excited for Soul's appearance. I'm totally Soul stalking, I'm not even kidding. I can't wait to see pictures!

sacredandscarred said...

I hope you get to have the birth experience you want.

A girl in a forum I'm on recently had her 2nd baby (at home) at 43 weeks.

If I have another baby via my own body and don't get a VBAC I'll be sad as well. It sucks when our bodies let us down.

R said...

Still waiting for little one to get here.... lol... glad you are doing well...

Tobacco Brunette said...

wondering about your weekend....

Neenie said...

omg omg omg omg i cant even comment on your last 366 posts because i am so excited and drooling on myself!!!!!
Sending you ooooooodles of happy healthy delivery vibes- I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL PREGNANT!!! REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED???? IT seemed like 3 seconds ago you found out and now boom- baby Soul is coming to make your circle complete!
I know you probably want to soak in all the solo Bliss time- it will get hectic with #2 around but Bliss sounds like such a gentle understanding sweet boy and will understand the tough job mommy is going to have. Look how much you have done with him and for him at 700 months pregnant! JEEZ GIRL!!!!! If THAT isn't love I don't know what is! :)
Wishing you get to feel the ring of fire also- you have every right to mourn for something that you want to experience dearly- and I hope that you fulfull that wish. Still love you either way though- ring of fire or not :)
xoxoxoxo Cant wait to hear updates!!!