Wednesday, May 23, 2007

because it makes me smile...

I am back in the 2ww as of today. One insem today and another tomorrow. I have the major Clomid bloat going on with lots of crampiness. I am glad to be back in a 2ww though, I always do better mentally during this phase than the waiting to O or waiting to flow phases.

I began this blog just before Bliss turned 4. The responses to his pictures have truly been so sweet and even healing to hear. I am taking this opportunity to post some of my favorite pics of my baby from his first day here. It is my way to share and gush all at once. There is also another great pic of the infamous hat (hint, hint).

The day of his birth.

The day after he was born.

My mama dog Dirt would always lay with us as he breastfed, keeping watch on my milkdrunk boy.

This picture is far to accurate an account of how I look naked these days.

SO darn cute it hurts. I LOVE HIS BOOTY!!!

This picture was the winning picture in the contest at our Cloth Diaper Service.

Such attitude, but with such humor as well, to me this conveys all that so well.

Hat picture.

One of my all time favorites. He loves water and liked playing in it, I loved the way the sun streamed in and the look in his eyes.

My other all time favorite. His eyes slay me.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

the story of the hat...

This is a picture of the first time Bliss was at the beach. He took a handful of sand and ate it. It was gross but I let him have at it. The hat on his head was my favorite. It was the only hat he ever let me put on him without tearing off. He loved it. It was made from cotton and I believe crocheted. It had a ton of give and would even fit my huge head. I envisioned him wearing it all his life. I have no clue where we lost it. I rarely ever lose things. I am sure it feel out of the stroller at a store or park one day. I twice tried to hire someone to make me another exactly like it. It had been a gift and there was no way to buy it anywhere. I probably spent in excess of 20 hours online trying to find another exactly like it. The hat I bought on our trip is vastly different, and much warmer, but it is in the same spirit of this one.

If anyone ever sees this hat, I will happily pay for it and it's shipping to get to us.

So now ya'll know the story of the hat.

In other news I am on cd 7, have ordered the vials, and am in the midst of Clomid hell, but besides that all is well.

truly, madly, deeply...

I am home again, I have been home since the start of this week but my baby had to have dental surgery today and I was in worry mode. He is all done, and doing well after a hard morning. I am able to breathe again and share about my trip.

We had such a wonderful time together. It amazes me. I go out of town with my child and I feel like I have grown to love him so much more. I have no idea how that is even possible, but my heart expanded about a hundred fold this past week. We took 101 home and stopped at all the big redwoods which was so fun. The entire 7 hours up there he watched movies and I drove. The entire way home there were no movies, and we talked and laughed the entire time. He is sooooo my Bliss in every sense of the word.

The school stuff we didn't do up there but he got this book because I told him he could if he drew an "A". This is the first letter he has ever drawn and I have tons of pictures.

The beach was overcast but not cold. It was so nice as it has this huge sandbar. He was naked in minutes of course, and we played in some quicksand sand we found.

This picture was taken at my friend's graduation. He had on his "nice" button up shirt and was so adorable. It was cold and drizzling, but we had a nice time. He actually sat in my lap, still, for over an hour and a half. A first for sure.

I bought this hat for him which is adorable. I had a rainbow hat for him when he was little that I adored but lost. I will post a pic of it later, but this one is to replace that.

My friend took him and her son for a ride in their bike trailer. Bliss had a blast.

This was before we left, we had gone to feed the ducks. I love these overalls but he rarely wants to wear them.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


I am not pregnant.
I am frustrated, and feeling a bit down.
I am in stasis and it is not a real good way to live.
With my life on hold in so many ways.
But I will keep trying, and keep plugging along.
On a positive note I am going up north tomorrow with Bliss.
We are going to a dear friends graduation from College.
We will go to the beach, me the whale.
We will have s'mores.
We will have our first vacation in years.
Bliss is so excited and I am as well.
We have also started school, he and I.
Each day we work on letters, numbers, writing.
He has never been into drawing so now he is learning.
I was always a high school teacher, my forte.
It is so different teaching this age, and then that it is my child.
I find myself getting upset telling him he knows how to do it, to just try.
Then I pull back an breathe and he smiles and says,
"Go with the flow mama."
It is our mantra for when we get cranky.
Today school started out pretty icky, but we were both tired.
We took a 4 hour nap together.
The first in ages and longest in years.
We woke up and he wanted to do school again.
It went great.
He is teaching me so much.
I just want to give him a sibling in return.

Monday, May 07, 2007


11 dpo negative hpt