my bliss...

Five years ago today my every dream, my every wish of every penny I ever threw in a fountain, my every hope came true. Five years ago I truly gave birth to my Bliss.

The details of the birth are not how I would have wanted, but they are for another post. This is about Bliss. This is about my heart that lives outside my body.

When I saw him it was so overwhelming that I kept pinching myself. I would pinch myself, hard and seriously, numerous times a day for the entire first year of his life. I could not fathom that I was so fortunate to be able to have this beautiful wondrous being in my life. I still am amazed that I get to be his mama, that I get to wake up to his face each day and know him and watch him grow.

He is the light, the joy, the laughter, the faith, the truth of my life. He is so funny and smart and observant and kind and just interesting in every way. He has given me the opportunity to heal myself in so many ways as well. Along with parenting him I have been able to re-parent myself and love the little girl inside of me that was hurt so deeply and so often throughout my own childhood. I have been able to find that self love and self awe I have for my son in myself. One of the first things I realized right after he was born through my awe of his beauty was my own beauty.

I believe life is about growth and improvement on a personal level. I have never worked so hard, nor wanted to work so hard to grow and improve as I have since becoming his mother. I want to be a better human being always, but especially for my son.

I am so "blissed" in my life (a term I use often) as a result of this amazing being and today I will start the day telling him the story of his birth. The story of all the good and bad but mostly of how deeply he was wanted and loved and how at 6:11am on November 21, 2002 my every everything came out of my body and into my world and has made it so wonderful every single second since.

I love you Bliss.

I will love you forever and for always because you are my dear one.

Love your Mama