huh...

I realized about a week ago that I had passed my one year blogiversary back in October. Strange that I didn't notice. So yay me. Rah.

OK That's done.

I am battling this cold thing sweeping the nation. I lost my voice for 3 days. It wasn't painful but it was exhausting. The effort it took to "push air" to communicate was so draining. Bliss kept asking me to use my normal voice. I had to explain it over and over. Then he got fine with it and my voice changed yet again to some new croaking squealing sound and he told me to use the other sick voice. He is so funny.

Speaking of funny he informed me yesterday he was a "gorgeous punk" (I often call him a punk) and I was an "ordinary punk." I was offended for about 3 minutes, then I asked him if he knew what ordinary meant. He said no. I laughed. He also told me my suggestion to him about a game wasn't the right antidote. I have no idea where he learns these words.

We have spent this week laughing together a lot. The Lupron really is manageable at 5 units. Today I began estrogen patches and Dexamethasone. I am not sure what I am feeling. This is the time of year I stress over money. Well I always stress over it but this is the time of year it is much worse than usual. Add to that the microwave arching and smoking requiring a new one, the house breaker going bad and needing replacing (a lovely $60 Zinsco type), the car DVD player suddenly going bad and needing replacing, and Bliss's Leapster going on the fritz and needing exchanging I am about done with all this bad electronics karma. All but the last cost so much to replace and at such a hard time of year. Between Bliss's birthday, x-mas and my roomies birthday later this week it is a rough time anyways. Now it is downright painful.

I am also stressing about this damn housing market. We will be putting our house up for sale one year from now. This slump has got to end by then or we are in major trouble. I do not want anything to impede the move to Canada and this so could.

Whew. OK so now that is out there. It helps me tremendously to purge this stuff from time to time. I have my biorhythms and meditation to help me relax and writing this out helps as well.

I am still pretty numb about the upcoming FET. I am not sure how much is defense mechanism and how much is residual pain from the failed IVF. I thought I was past it a little further than I obviously am. I still have days where the tears overtake me and says where I am Miss Bitter but for the most part I am doing pretty well considering.

As for diet and exercise I am still off for one more week. I order from a special New York bakery every year for my roomies birthday. She grew up there and I have all her favorites sent. Her b-day is the 5th so I have given myself through the 7th to indulge, then I begin again to be sensible and work out 3 times a week again. I have not been weighing myself since quite frankly I do not want to know.

My first ultrasound this cycle is coming up on the 2nd. I will likely feel a bit better after that.

Happy New Year to all. May this year bring you what you need and may your also find it is exactly what you want.