i told you so... (updated at bottom)

*********pre-post info to be updated with FET info later*********

I go in for my first FET, and hopefully my last, in a couple hours (11am). This is try #17 (I count the last m/c'd cycle) and I have many feelings jumbled up inside. I want this to work so badly but feel kind of removed from the whole thing. I am an air sign and work hard to ground myself. As a result I crave physical grounding often. I am not feeling too grounded, and I know it is a defense mechanism. I wish I could say the following was grounding for me, but, not so much. It is levity however, which is always good.

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This post is about PIO in the thigh, PIO in the quad muscle, PIO in the leg. There, that will probably land plenty of people searching for it right here. I should know, I searched about it. I found basically only one place discussing it and that was Julie over at A Little Pregnant. I read the post, I read every comment even. The thing is I have this problem with terminal uniqueness. I always have. I think I am different.

Ha!

I have always used suppositories for progesterone. I get them from Medsmex.com and they are in a round ball form that makes no mess. I use them still but my doc wants me on the PIO as well. I had the sesame oil form last IVF cycle and I got knots in my rear that built up. They built up so badly that the day I got my negative beta I was barely able to walk and I limped pretty badly for almost 5 days after. I also have scar tissue in my rear from some very bad shots many many years ago. It has never healed and makes it pretty yucky.

This time I got the doc to order the PIO in Ethyl Oleate. It is much much thinner and goes in very easily. I have no problems with the going in part. Even with the sesame oil the shot itself was not my problem. Sure it is a pain to twist around to give it myself but not that hard, really. I have a problem with the knots and the pain that comes later. I had done 2 shots of this cycle and already felt a small one on one side. So my thinking was, spread it out. Spread out the shots to have less buildup in one area.

So I got the heating pad and made sure my muscle was not flexed or tight when I gave the shot. It went smoothly, and didn't hurt at all. I massaged it vigorously after and applied heat for about 45 minutes. Then about an hour and a half later I felt it start. The knot forming already. I knew I was in for it. Yesterday I was hobbling around with a knot the size of a grapefruit in my leg. Today it feels like I ran into the corner of a desk or table right at mid-thigh level. It is bearable, but ridiculous how big and bad it is.

I have been giving myself a big "I TOLD YOU SO" under my breath every so often throughout the day though. I need to work on the terminal uniqueness thing for sure.

Last night and tonight I am back to ass and I am just hoping they do not buildup like last time. SO far so good.

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UPDATE:

All three made the thaw and all 3 were hatched per my wishes. I am so happy. I got a call from the embryologist about an hour before my appointment time telling me but it scared me when she called and I thought she was calling to say bad news.

The transfer went great and the placement was really good, everyone thought it was even way better than last time. The lil things were so bright I got a pic of them in my uterus after transfer. They are going to scan it for me so I can post it later.

Bliss was with me for transfer once again and all was good. On the drive home from my vantage point laying down in the back seat next to Bliss in his car seat I could see the moon out in the middle of a bright sunny day. THAT felt good too.

Beta next Thursday.