ramble on...

So I changed it again. I am in that place of being restless and anxious and irritated all at the same time.

I have never before used Gonal-f. I always used Follistim. I am currently using both thanks to some amazing women who were so thoughtful. My doc thinks it is amazing, this community. he even reads some blogs now which I adore him for. We get to discuss all things blog world at my visits.

Anyhow I have never used it and it is really strong smelling. Has anyone else noticed that. I never smell the Follistim though. Strange.

I also do not know if anyone has had mood side effects from Gonal-f. I seem to either be having more Lupron bitchiness or I am having effects from the Gonal-f. I am just so overwrought about every damn little thing. I feel so put upon at times it is sick. Like for normal everyday things. It is making me nuts and my poor child. I just keep saying "mama is cranky now and please know she is no fun and sorry" and he is great but it is just not fair to him. This morning I was so upset for no reason and I told him after I got off the treadmill that I was going to have breakfast and then a bath and try to get out of my cranky mood. He said "you know what you have to do to not be cranky anymore mama, you have to cry."

He is soooo amazing. It also goes back to the day after he was born. We were in the hospital and he was crying a bunch and it was the first time I was unable to soothe him and I was on the verge of sobbing and holding it in to not upset him and a friend came by and said "stop doing that, let him experience all of you" and I began bawling and he was instantly quiet and soothed. It just amazes me he still is so intuitive with it.

Anyhow I am doing much better but really would like the no-feeling bitch stuff to stop. I am usually a huge empath and on these drugs it is like it leaves which is just so NOT me it is hard to be in my skin at times.

Anyhow tomorrow we celebrate Aunt's Day (our own tradition, I only remember it if it is the week after Mother's day) and we shopped today and had a nice time.

Oh and I almost forgot, as of yesterday I have lost 15 pounds. I am also doing the treadmill again 3-4 days a week. The sad part is I am now just really at my previous high.

Monday is my cd9 ultrasound.

Funny, I was going to make this a 2 sentence post.