triggered...

So I just took my trigger shot. It always gets super hot after I give the HCG shot. Doc says I react to the bacteriostatic agent and it is common but it is strange.

My ER is scheduled for 9:30am Friday, I am to be there at 9am. I am half excited, half nervous, and half afraid. Yes I said halves and not thirds, it is because I am just that much overwhelmed. ha ha ha

I am not actually overwhelmed, I am just, as usual and as is everyone in this place, wanting this to work so badly. It is like you try to steel your heart and pump it up all at the same time.

Bliss tonight was talking all about the babies and how he wants two, a boy and a girl. I went over (as I always do) how it could be just one and it could be either gender and even if we get two it could be either and it could also be none. He said he knew but if that happened we would just try again because "we will never quit!!!!!!!" I agreed with him and kissed him and then he talked about how much he wanted a baby and how much he wanted a brother and a sister. It is so very bittersweet and it fulfills me and breaks my heart all at the same time.

I am doing well still on the food/weight loss front. I have lost 17 pounds and that is with likely bloat gain from the meds. I made some awful oatmeal/tofu/egg white pancakes this morning just to try and curb my craving I have been happening as ER/ET gets closer and while they were not very good they did curb it a bit. For dinner I has some light soup and 5 rye crisps lightly buttered with fresh strawberries for desert. I am allowed and I stayed well within my calorie range for the day but see I have not had crackers, even rye ones, at all this month and I really do think it was because of the oatmeal pancakes that I wanted them. Carb begets carb, carb-like begets carb-like.
I am motivated though as I see the weight continue to drop. I still cannot say if this next 7 days will include any trips to IHOP or not but I am ok with not making that decision just yet.