hanging in there...

So I made it through the long weekend. Happy New Year to all. I got up this morning and went and got my blood drawn. I am hoping that it will be posted today but prepared for not until tomorrow.

I have been doing a bit better. The FRER getting so dark helped. I also have been going to bed each night listening to a guided imagery CD. It is for a healthy pregnancy and childbirth. It also has positive affirmations. It is not my style but desperation leads one to try almost anything. I am usually asleep long before it finishes. To my surprise it seems to be helping.

Intellectually I know that no amount of worrying or "preparing for the worst" will make a damn bit of difference if things go great or take a bad turn. I also know that huge amounts of stress are not good for me. So I have been trying to find a way to just be positive and try and be happy about this great thing. For me it is much easier said than done. This listening to this thing, though, seems to have taken some edge off. I can breathe better throughout the day. I was literally holding my breath on and off with stress. I am also not having constant anxiety attacks anymore. I am still terrified, but it seems more manageable. We shall see.

I have been having intermittent bouts of breathlessness and tiny hints of my body thinking about being nauseous. Besides this, not really any other symptoms. I was up every 2 hours last night, and I did pee each time, but I think it was probably due more to subconscious worry about today's test than anything else.

I got a very bad sore throat New Year's Eve day. It hurt so bad I could not swallow or talk. I took a bath and did my nasal irrigator before bed. I spent the entire night blowing my nose, but I woke up yesterday feeling so much better. I still am very congested, but there is no more pain. I read that pregnancy causes your nasal passages to congest in order to force you to becomes a mouth breather so that your oxygen intake increases for better baby production. I'm not sure it's true, but it makes sense.

I will post again when I have my numbers.