cd 1 ...

So it begins again. Another cycle. Cycle 13 to be exact. I like the number, always have, but sheesh.

I spent the day at the water park. Bliss and I had a lot of fun. I got new clothes last week, it has actually made a big difference. I am still feeling like a lard ass but having some clothes that look decent has made me feel more human. I have taken 5 minutes to primp before leaving the house. It has been ages since I did that. I have also been forcing myself to go out more. Hence the water park. We got a pass and this was our second trip in as many weeks.

Wednesday we go up to Vancouver, Canada for the day and get our visas signed. We will visit the Aquarium there and sight see for the day before taking a late flight back home.

I only ordered one vial for this month, the cost has just been so huge and with the shipping as well I just couldn't do two. I had Bliss with one vial as well as the pregnancy before him so I am not too stressed about that. I am also looking forward to a Clomid-free month.

I had a talk with Soul the other night. I asked her/him to please come sooner rather than later, to meet her/his brother and allow me to be her/his mother. I told her/him it really meant a lot to me. I felt connected much more than ever before.

I am trying to be positive.

I still cry a lot though.

But I am making the effort, doing the work.

I hope this will be my month.