Tuesday, December 11, 2007

4dp5dt...

I am doing ok. I have been taking it easy. Even when I went to get groceries I let the bagger take the bags out to the truck and my roomie take them in the house. I even asked someone in a parking lot to put up my tailgate (it's big and heavy) for me, which is not easy for me. I am very strong, truly, in an uncanny way. When I was in grad school I bought my first fridge and I carried it on my back from my truck to my apartment. So explaining to others I cannot lift anything over 10 pounds is strange, but I am happy to do so for the cause.

As for how I feel it is useless to get to much into it. I am on tons or progesterone and estrogen and I know they give all the symptoms I have. My boobs hurt and are full, my womb feels heavy, and I have cramps on and off throughout the day. All things I have felt when pregnant, and when not.

I am still starving all the time but I refuse to stress over it. If I told you what I ate for breakfast today you would think me truly a whale.

I will likely POAS early, maybe tomorrow but I am not sure. Friday is still beta day #1.

I get a little freaked out about what I will do with either outcome potential. I know I can do an FET next and even another IVF after of this doesn't happen. I also know it will hurt like hell. If it does happen my biggest goal is to really try and enjoy every minute I remain pregnant. Having had 2 m/c's after heartbeat was seen sucks so much for feeling good at all in the first trimester and I really want to try and change how I deal with that and try and focus on enjoying every moment. Much easier said than done. But I only hope I get to have that struggle.

Peace.

2 om's.:

Sara said...

I hope you get to have that struggle too - It cannot be easy. Good job on taking it easy. Keeping my fingers crossed for a +hpt and a great beta!

Michell said...

Hoping for a positive hpt for you. This whole process is so stressful. Sounds like you are taking good care of yourself.