less hope

It is another day and another negative for me. The bbs are still engorged but not as sore. I went to the pharmacy last night and spent a ton of money on junk, but I also picked up the Clomid and Estrogen for next cycle. The Clomid isn't covered so I paid $53 for it, and yes there is still a chance I won't need it and the money will be wasted, but it made me feel a lil better. I needed to do something to feel proactive when I am feeling so helpless lately. The pharmacist said the Estrogen was a high dose and to take it with food so I don't get sick, so now I know next cycle I will be queasy from before I even have the insemination. Maybe I will be able to ignore my body better because I will be able to blame everything on the Clomid and the Estrogen.?.

Maybe not.