things i question now...

I am not a drinker, maybe one drink a month if that. I craved booze shortly after I tested pregnant.I did not drink of course, but I would think about a margarita, a glass of champagne, or some fresh sangria a lot those first weeks. To the point that it freaked me out a bit.

I could still drink coffee. I got to where it wasn't a daily need like it usually is, but both my other pregnancies, by week 4 it was not sounding too good and by week 6 it was repulsing me. This time I was still having a cup every day or two and enjoying it.

The "police dog nose" thing. I really barely had it. I was not liking perfume-y stuff, which I am not real into these days anyhow, but that was about it. I was not fond of some smelly lotion I had, and a strong icky candle was really bad to me. When pregnant before almost all strong smells made me cringe badly very early on. Food smelled very strong, even when good. this had not happened yet.

I was not tired, and it was hard. I wanted to be able to sleep. At the start I had awful insomnia, and then as the weeks went by I just was rarely tired. I could go to sleep finally, but only at my usual bedtime, not early or anything. With both other pregnancies I could sleep anywhere, anytime, all day long, all night, around the clock.

The weight gain. I never gained fast early on with either other. I gained a lot with Bliss but mainly in the second and third trimesters. With this one I gained a lot very fast, and even when I was no longer stress eating I kept gaining.

The bloating. Well this I do not question really. it began after the baby was dead by my figuring, so I think this was my body trying to deal with it.

The Anti-thyroid Antibodies I have since my Hashimoto's diagnosis and subsequent surgery to remove my remaining thyroid lobe. They are finally down from the 1100's to the low 200's but I wonder if they played a role. My Thyroid Peroxidase Antibodies are only at 22 which is not bad but still I wonder. I am seeing my endocrinologist Thursday to ask her if she will please please run an Antiphospholipid test and a Natural Killer Cells test because either of those, combined with my ATA's could be a cause. I do not think I have Lupus, or the Antiphospholipids, but I really wonder about the NKC's, a lot. I also hope she and my insurance, will let me run the test. I hear it is not done at many labs.

I wonder about a lot, question a lot, but I am trying to not let my head get so loud that I begin to lose the ability to hear the rest of my life. It is why I am putting it all down, to make room for other things.

To make room for the possibility of some good.