starting to smell...

Warning: Earthy crunchy post about natural body scents, read at your own risk.

My breasts are starting to take on that delicious yeasty smell of breastfeeding again.

I have missed that scent.

I am rather scent oriented and became much more so after giving up antiperspirant when pregnant with Bliss, I still use natural deodorant at times and even natural Lichen ( a natural antiperspirant) at times but I find body scents to be beautiful and so telling.

Don't get me wrong, I like being clean and having clean scents not stench, but the body goes through so many changes in scent in the course of a month, and while pregnant...wow.

So I am enjoying the return of my breasts feeding scent, the one the baby will root into to find nourishment even when asleep. It has a comforting affect on me as well.

inside this head of mine...

In case anyone wants a glimpse of the scary that is inside my head here is a peek.

I have been tortured for, I am so saddened to realize, almost an entire month of OCD from a post Cali wrote.

I don't do meme's but I have always played Cali's Scattergories games on her site. Her December game asks as it's first question "What is the name of your favorite Holiday themed song?" and then you use that as your letter for the game. But I was unsure and could not figure out a favorite song. Silent Night? No that is soooo overdone, Little Drummer Boy? No, a bit too religious for me, I just liked the "bah rump uh pump puh" as a kid.

So what do I like?

This has honestly been stuck in my craw for almost a month, and not like I think of it occasionally, no, I think about it frickin' daily. UGH!! This brain, I tell ya. I cannot remember I have a grilled cheese on the stove when I bring Bliss his sandwich in the next room and end up burning my own to a black crisp but I cannot forget the Scattergories question I am asked a month ago!!??!!

So after much MUCH MUCH thinking and searching and trying to come up with something I have FINALLY arrived at one of my favorite songs. but I will not say it is my very favorite, because frankly I have no idea.

Anyhow without further ado here it is.

A Carol Of Bells

our day...

Last night I got everything put out and ready by 9:30. It must be a personal record.
I then relaxed a bit and before bed, as a gift to myself, I took out the doppler and had a listen. While listening I also got to feel a kick which made me smile.

Today, despite going to bed at a good time, I was exhausted. I was also hungry, all day long. This is new so there must be a growth spurt going on.

The baby gave me a gift today and made itself felt NUMEROUS times throughout the day. This is very new and very welcome. It made for added joy to an already great day.

Bliss had a wonderful day and with every gift was thankful and gave kisses and yelled to the roof "THANK YOU SANTA" many many times. He is truly my Bliss.

Tonight, 40 minutes after he was "supposed" to be asleep he says "Mama one more thing?"
"What Bliss?" I replied.
"The Force is real ya know."
"Yes Bliss, I know," I replied, "now go to sleep."

happy holidays...

my past week...

Got 2 moving cubes delivered (hoping we don't end up needing more than 4).

Packed some boxes to make room for tree.

Got tree, decorated tree.

Did really lousy job decorating outside house (was banned from going on roof).

Got dogs groomed (I usually do but hey it is x-mas and what the hell).

Took x-mas photo and had it printed into cards (doubt I will get around to mailing any but they are done),(will post photo later on).

Three doc appointments down, 4 to go (getting stuff done before moving, just routine stuff).

Got hitch put on new car.

Got Bliss a snow jacket and pants and boots.

Got dogs snow boots and coats and heated dog bed.

Went on yearly evening drive to view x-mas lights.

Used doppler numerous times to feel better (thank you Rose).

Finished all x-mas shopping and also wrapped 99% of all gifts.

Was exhausted!!

the trip final thoughts...

Although the trip was really rough it was also great. All three provinces were absolutely beautiful and people were wonderful everywhere we went.

I strive to be creative and in my life but I am a very left brained type. I usually can have my likes and desires but then sit down and make a pro con list and get "rational" or "practical" and come up with solutions. With this one I have not been able to as of yet.

I am drawn mostly to both PEI and Nova Scotia. We will obviously be renting when we move at the end of January no matter what. I am thinking it would be smartest to rent on PEI to see if island living is for us and get a better feel for it. That makes sense mostly.

Here are some things running through my brain though.

I am crunchy. I was not raised as such, and strive to be so each day. I feel like a wannabe hippy often and try so hard to be as earthy as I would like to be. I fall pretty crunchy to most who meet me I think I just have this inner thing from how I was raised.

Anyhow I practice attachment parenting, I co-sleep, extended breast feed, unschool. All these things I am very happy with and do not need outer approval for. I do, however, worry about being the only EBF mom on the Island affecting Bliss' relationships potentially. It is a very progressive place in many ways, very eco friendly etc. but there is an underlying conservatism too that I cannot quite figure out.

I also worry about giving birth there. Ideally I would have a VBAC home birth but I know that may not happen. The option of a midwife, even at the hospital, is very appealing. That would only be possible in Nova Scotia from what I am gathering. (PLEASE correct me if I am wrong if anyone knows otherwise) I would like to find other unschoolers, or at least non-religious homeschooling groups and do not know how easy that will be on PEI.

Affordability just housing prices alone goes to PEI hands down. Finding a place with a barn as well but we want to start a business and doing that on the island may prove way more expensive because of costs to bring goods in or ship out. These are all things I have to try and think about.

Geographically I could likely be happy either place although the islands red earth and valley's really spoke to me so did the parts of Nova Scotia I got to see (I drove so much in the dark there).

Then there is the question about renting. Do we rent a furnished place and hope to find something really soon and make it easier on us to start, maybe only bringing my memory foam mattress for my last few months of pregnancy? Or do we go unfurnished? I could house hunt in the snow since I have seen most areas, at least I think I could, but is it realistic for the last 3 months of my pregnancy?

I hate the idea of being in a rental when I give birth but I know it may happen.

All of these things wake me up at 2am sometimes and I am still trying to figure them out. I don't want to buy a place unless we really really feel good about it too. I just feel like I cannot figure out what is quite best for us yet.

In the meantime we are finally packing stuff slowly but surely and trying to be very smart about it. We also have to FINALLY get a tree tomorrow.

WHEW, ok, the trip story is officially over!!!

the trip part six....

We got up at 4am to get to the airport. We arrived and checked in our bags. I only packed one carry-on for the trip home to make the layover at Newark less a pain since we had not needed the portable DVD player or the movie case or blanket on the trip coming.

I got some bottled water after we went through security since we had had to toss all of ours. I got Bliss a muffin and some OJ and a tart for me which I never ate any of. I was not feeling very good that morning having had thrown up the night before and was still feeling rather queasy.

The plane apparently had some electrical problem and was delayed about 40 minutes but this was known before boarding so we simply waited in the terminal. After eating about half his muffin Bliss went to sleep laying against me until it was time to board.

Once on the plane I got us settled and asked the flight attendant for the seat belt extender (yes folks the belly won't allow the seat belt across, well the belly the hips the ass, but I DO have an excuse these days) and for a few sick bags as I was truly worried about throwing up on the flight.

Bliss had taken his flying meds (a child's allergy pill) and had water to sip and gum he was chewing. The takeoff went fine and his ears were great. About 20 minutes into the flight he told me his tummy hurt and then suddenly he was throwing up. I managed to whip a bag out and he made it all in the bag, the poor thing. He then proceeded to throw up 3 more times before the 2 hour flight was done. I went into immediate mama mode and all my queasiness left. I washed his forehead, took him to the bathroom to wash his mouth out and got him bubbly water to sip (club soda) for the rest the flight. he told me right before we landed that he hated throwing up but sometimes "it sure makes ya feel better."

The landing was done without even the aid of gum and went well for him ear wise. We had to go through customs in Newark, then get our bags, then the second customs, then the bag drop off and then security again, thus losing all our bottled water AGAIN, and then I walked down the wrong very long corridor to our gate and had to backtrack. We FINALLY got to our gate (we had a 4 hour layover so I wasn't worried, just tired and with a sick kid) and sat in the food court. Bliss was hungry and I got him some pancakes thinking they would be easy on his tummy. I got a slice of pizza thinking even airport Jersey would be close enough to New York pizza to be worth it, it wasn't.

We hung out, had lots of potty stops and waited for our flight. Bliss seemed to be feeling much better, I was feeling so so. Finally we boarded our flight home.

Upon boarding the plane I was immediately struck with how very different it was from our flight out. It was not the same first class in any way. This was a business class like first class (apparently our flight over was on an international flight plane, who knew). The seats did NOT have the movie players at them (remember I had not packed the portable one in the carry-on), the seats also did not look to go back much. We were seated in the last row and I asked a nearby flight attendant if the last row seats did in fact lean back. He answered they did the same amount as the rest of first class. OK good I thought, until I found they only went back about 6 inches the same as coach. The flight attendant had a lovely accent and I asked him where he was from, that I loved his accent. He snapped back at me very angrily that he was "from here" which shocked me. He had a London by way of somewhere else accent with a lovely lilt to it but apparently it offended him greatly to be asked.

The flight is settling but not taking off yet and the flight attendant starts taking meal orders from the first class section. I hear there is a choice of chicken, a stuffed pasta, or veal. he gets to us last and informs me that there is only veal left. I explain, very nicely that I cannot eat veal (I have never eaten veal, I am a meat eater but do not ever eat veal) and that they would need to find something else, I would even eat a vegetarian meal if need be. He tells me he can get me a burger from coach and I calmly explain that I paid more for the tickets than a decent car almost and did so to ensure no problems like this and that he needed to figure out what to do but that being given a "burger from coach" was not ok. He proceeded to walk to the front of the cabin, and very loudly explain to the other flight attendants that "the bitch in row 5 says she paid thousands for her tickets and will not eat veal."

I immediately began crying much to my horror I could not stop myself, the tears were pouring down. We were still on the ground folks, I hardly believe this was so hard to rectify. I called roomie from my cell and sobbed to her and said how badly I just wanted to get off the plane and take another one but I could not because Bliss still felt like shit and we needed to just get home.

After I calmed down a bit another flight attendant came to me and explained he had spoken with some passengers and he could offer me a different meal. I thanked him and said I was not trying to be a pain and that chicken would be lovely. I also explained Bliss wanted nothing and hopefully I could get him to eat a few bites of mine.

To backtrack a second, I was very obviously pregnant and I had explained to the jerk attendant that Bliss was coming off an early flight he had spent the entire time throwing up on. It had made zero difference to that man.

So we are taking off, Bliss is doing great ear wise and just wants to sleep in a slippery seat that won't go back. We have a 4 inch armrest between us that won't move and no legroom for me to cradle him from. He did his best but it was breaking my heart seeing him try to lay and sleep. Also the overhead movie screen was in the first row and row 3 and no other row so Bliss could not even physically see it from his seat. He tried to sleep and the mean flight attendant started going around again taking salad dressing preferences from the passengers. he did all 18 other passengers and then stood up, turned and walked back to the front purposefully ignoring me. A few minutes later the other flight attendant came back and took my dressing order. I began to cry, again. I was so upset and angry and frustrated and that man was making such a huge scene of avoiding me at all costs.

The nice attendant was very apologetic. I explained through tears that I had not been a passenger who ever yelled or raised my voice in any way and that it was his job to address my concerns and that by acting this way he was humiliating me and ruining our entire flight. The nice attendant apologized and went about bringing me my salad.

Bliss slept fitfully and I tried to calm my nerves and stop the damn tears which kept coming on and off. Towards the end of the flight I think the mean one came by once to ask what we needed drinks wise but that was it.

Bliss did well on the landing THANK GODDESS and we left the plane as soon as humanly possible. Some passengers from coach near us on the flight made comments in baggage claim asking what had happened and why was the flight attendant so mean to me.

We got our luggage and went out to meet up with roomie to drive home. I was sooooo glad the trips was over. It is probably more clear now why I could not write about the trip when I got home, it really was a bit of a huge letdown and ended so poorly.

Next up final thoughts and insights on what we are planning to do.

the trip part five....

Saturday was our last day of driving around, the next day we were flying home at dawn.

We got off to an ok start but Bliss had to make a lot of potty stops, like one every 20 minutes. It was also the first day of regular raining, which I loved. Maybe the rain made him need to pee, who knows.

We were running about 15 minutes late and I was stressed because I try not to be late. We finally got to the Realtors office who were were meeting that day only to find the office closed. I called her and left a message, parked and waited. About 15 minutes later I got a call back, her car had broken down and she was getting another car to borrow, but she was about an hour away.

???

So we got the addresses since it was also the first day I had forgotten my own paperwork. Up to then each Realtor would hand me printouts of properties I already had previously printed out for myself. So we got the addresses and I said we would grab a bite and meet her at the first one.

We ended up just driving to the first one as Bliss wasn't hungry yet and I was fin. We got there and it was the closest to a road we had seen yet. You could literally touch the front door with one hand and the main road with another, at the same time. So I knew it was a no go so I went to call the Realtor and tell her we should just meet up at the second one instead, except I found out there was no cell service.

So I began driving to the second and when I saw a market I stopped to call. After 3 attempts and a lot of lost coins at the obviously broken pay phone the clerk allowed me to make the local call on his phone. I let her know and grabbed some snacks and we drove to the other house.

This house was in nice shape, but was a smokers house, it was shocking to me (a former smoker years back) how strong it was. Bliss was actually coughing. The Realtor didn't notice but she was a smoker herself. The house was in nice shape but it was not in a location that would ultimately work for us. We chatted more about what we were seeking and she said she would keep her eyes open for something that might work we could view when we came back. We made our goodbyes and were on our way back to the hotel.

We stopped at Sharon's home to return the GPS and have a nice visit where she even lent me her baby sounds monitor so I could try to hear a heartbeat. I was suddenly paranoid again and had VERY FOOLISHLY not brought the ultrasound monitor I had just gotten. I didn't hear anything on hers but it was not an actual u/s so I was not completely freaked out. It was sooooo sweet of her though to let me try.

We said goodbye to her adorable daughter and her lovely parents and her and went back to the hotel. I just had packing to do and dinner and then up at 4am to go to the airport to go home.

I wish I could say this was the end of the story but the next day proved almost too much for me...

the trip part four...

I want to start this post mentioning that while I had seen so many crap houses much of it was because I had only been able to go by pictures on MLS and had not had my own Realtor I had been working with. I had tried but got a lot of flakes and didn't set up with much before arranging just times to visit houses on a list I sent. Also Nova Scotia, where I was looking, just plain did not have many houses available, it was much more that than the houses all being bad. I LOVED the area and so did everyone living in it apparently because few were moving. I am sure for 100,000 grand more we could find a great place but we have our budget and will not go over.

OK that all said on to the next day. Where was I? Prince Edward Island, yes. First off in the morning we saw 2 homes in New Brunswick on the way to PEI. They were sort of last minute things that turned out not right but we stopped anyways. Next we took the Confederation Bridge over to the island and met the Realtor at the first house.

The Island was BEAUTIFUL, absolutely stunning. The red earth and patchwork valley's were so lovely. The first house was in fantastic shape and had lots of acres. The ONLY problem was it was right on the road and we just can't do that with the dogs and kids, I just want something back off the road.

We saw another house on the same road down a bit and it was back off the road with a beautiful large yard. The Realtor arranged for us to view it. It was a lovely 100 year old home on 3 acres and it beautiful shape. So much of what we want but priced a bit over our budget and with so little acreage I just felt was not wise. It was so lovely though. Here is a pic of it and the one below is of the loft in the garage. The owner was a Lobster man for years and his son still is. The picture is fuzzy but the buoys looked like pretty lanterns all lit up and so lovely.

Everywhere we drove on the island was beautiful, I was scribbling road names and property numbers the entire day. I loved the agricultural community feeling of so much of the island. THIS is what we were looking for so much more. A couple houses we saw were just too old and run down, or the property wasn't exactly right but we saw a lot more potential. One place was right smack dab next to a King.dom Ha.ll and I cannot explain how happy those people would be did they know the crazy queer Buddhist hippy flower child is not moving in within spitting distance of their place.

The other concern about the island is just that, living on an island. Charlottetown is a big city and has lots f major stores and whatnot so much could be gotten from there, but there is the fear of island fever of sorts and of Bliss growing to teenage years and being in that "dying to leave" place which would kill me (seriously).

The final fact to contend with is that it costs $41.50 to leave the island. It is free to drive on but that is the toll to leave. That is a chunk of change folks and it is hard to know how much impact that would have in our daily lives. we want to start a business, but what about if things needed to be brought across regularly, all of that is something to think about.

We ended the day driving back to the hotel and playing in this amazing kids pool which we had booked because of the big pool slide it had. Little did I know the slide was 2 stories high and Bliss HAD to have me sit and hold him going down. I lay back, squeezed my eyes shut and prayed not to get sick. He had a blast, but we only did it 2 or 3 times.

After that I went across the street and got myself a HUGE steak and lobster dinner. The first I had in the Maritimes. It was AMAZING. Bliss had steak and bread and veggies.

Then sleep and even sleeping in a bit and the next day our final day driving around.

the trip part three...

So we woke up early and went to the Ferry. The hotel we stayed at had advertised a cooked to order breakfast which had been a main reason I stayed there. I was over the continental breakfast thing and looking forward to a real breakfast. I called down and was told to just pick up the vouchers at the front desk. I took down a suitcase to the rental and picked up the vouchers at the desk. I went to the restaurant to order our meals and found that the "cooked to order" breakfast was a choice of either 2 eggs and toast or a yogurt and one egg. I asked if I could substitute as I cannot eat eggs this pregnancy at all. I was told no I could not. So the "cooked to order" breakfast was total bullshit. I took the vouchers back to the front desk, informed them they need to stop advertising falsely and went back upstairs to collect the rest of our stuff and Bliss.

We drove to the Ferry and all was well and we waited in line to board the Ferry going from Saint John, New Brunswick to Digby, Nova Scotia. We boarded the ferry and parked and walked the two flights of stairs up to the main part of the ship (so fun for me). We went to the cafeteria to get some breakfast and I instantly realized I had left my wallet in the car 2 flights down. I walked back down and back up and we had a nice breakfast.

Then we went to go see the kids stuff they had aboard, only to find out all the stuff was only for the summer season and all of it was closed. We walked outside and watched the water, all the while me getting queasy and then went upstairs to the lounge where they had said over the loud speakers there were computers for use of passengers.

We went to use the computers but the Internet connections seemed to be down, the entire three hour boat ride. Yay again!! Poor Bliss, but he was in great spirits. I began feeling more and more seasick and had to lay down on a side couch while Bliss played with the movie feature on my camera. He did great while I rested and quietly moaned. There is one movie he made with him all chipper and me looking green as hell but it is too awful to post.

The Ferry trip ended and we drove to meet the Nova Scotia Realtor we were scheduled with. I loved the geography I saw a lot. Beautiful farming communities with patchwork hills. It was much more along the lines of what I had been looking for. We went to the first house,and although old it seemed better, until we went upstairs and saw the caved in roof with mold and moss growing down the bedroom walls. Fun stuff.

We went to the next place and it was way up the mountain and right on the road and in poor shape as well. It was getting late and Bliss was needing a bathroom every 20 minutes but we managed to see one more place that was completely unsuitable. I had found an area I loved, the Annapolis Valley, but no houses available where we wanted one.

It was just dark when we finished in that area and we had to drive back to Moncton to the next hotel we had reservations at that night. It was a 4 hour drive through so much of Nova Scotia I could not see at all because it was night.

Bliss was great as usual but I was tired of driving and frustrated. We got to the hotel by 10pm and tried to get to sleep right away.

The next day we got up a little bit later, like 7:30-8am and headed out to Prince Edward Island.

what's new with you...

I had an OB appointment yesterday. I was hoping she would do an u/s so maybe I could get an actual picture that didn't suck but she told me her u/s was way less than the one I had had the day before and it was just because of positioning behind placenta and the thickest part of my belly fat that the picture was so bad.

So, rats!!!

Good news I have lost another pound so far this pregnancy. I don't care about losing, it is that I am not gaining, which my doc says means the baby is "converting" which is optimal for me considering my starting weight this pregnancy. It is also good news for me because I gained 65 pounds with Bliss and started this pregnancy weighing more than the day I gave birth to Bliss, so being in a place of converting rather than gaining is really positive for me.

I still throw up a couple times a week but usually I don't lose my whole meal so that is good. I also still have this cold I got in Canada but it seems to finally be getting better. The coughing has added to the throwing up though, that and the excess mucus which chokes me at times. YUCK!!

As for eating I am still in the weird place where one minute I like one thing and the next can't stand it. Breakfast still continues to be the hardest meal to figure out. This morning I made fresh steamed veggies squirted with fresh lemon juice, nice rice pilaf, and broiled salmon for breakfast. It was delicious but come on, that is NOT breakfast food people.

I wish I could chug milk and eat eggs even one meal a day like I did when preggers with Bliss but that is not to be it seems. I can do an occasional decaf latte drink which IS milk but not real great for me.

OHHH and we got a new car, well a new used but it was INSANE. I have a big ol Ford F150 extended cab long bed truck. It does not have enough room even with the back seat as it cannot fit a rear facing child seat on it and I knew we would have to get something before going to Canada. Well I have been looking to do a trade in and then keep costs down. In Canada I rented a Chevy Uplander van and was surprised how much I enjoyed it but when I looked on CL at home I say they were really expensive, even used. OK whatever, on to the next thing. Well roomie and I were talking and she suggested we rent one of the other vehicles we were thinking about and make a trip down to the Monterey. Bay. Aquarium. in it to see how we like the feel. I had promised Bliss we would go there before we moved (it is about 3 hours south of us). I went online to a few rental places and ended up looking at their vehicles to buy as well and suddenly there was an Uplander, a 2008 one, for like 5 grand under blue book and 6 grand less than on CL for a 6 year older one and with only 32,000 miles on it. We were stunned and called and drove over and they took my trade in for a good price and we have a new car. It still shocks me every time I walk outside. But this is what we will be driving to Canada when we move and it is really cool. I will try and remember to post a pic if anyone is interested but maybe not as pictures of a car can be kinda boring maybe.

(wanted to add here, I know it is probably strange to many I drove a big gas guzzler truck, but I have always had trucks and I got it for such an amazing price years ago after my lovely Toyota wagon lost all a/c and other things during summer. Anyhow I have one bumper sticker on my truck, or had I guess, that read "Tree Hugging Dirt Worshipper" and I did not drive a ton but anyhow the last thing about the new van, it is a flex fuel van and can take ethanol, so even cooler. I just need to get another one of my bumper stickers for it now.)

Anyhow I will be finishing writing about my trip in the next day or two, Sunday we are going down to the aquarium just for the night, and all is pretty ok right now.

20 week scan...

All went well. They want me back in 4 weeks but everything looked fine. The tech was jaded and a bit of a pain in the ass, the doc was super sweet.

The picture I got was crap, a frontal skeletal looking picture because of how the baby was laying. I am not going to bother even scanning it as it is total blurry crap.

The kidney's looked good as with stomach and bladder. The spine was good, and the brain stem too. The arm and leg bones measured good and long.

They got a look at the heart and said it looked great but still they said it was a little early and a little hard with my belly fat to get views clear enough to officially call. but then she did get one look he said was fantastic.

They could not get facial views good, hence crap pictures, so they want to do the facial checking (cleft palate etc. in 4 weeks).

The nuchal fold was 3mm or less and he said anything under 6mm was great.

In some ways I feel like I can finally say I am really pregnant, even to myself. In other ways I know that until I feel the baby move all the time I will still struggle.

I had about 3 hours sleep last night with worry and I am completely exhausted. I was able, however, to get up in the middle of the night and use my lovely gifted doppler (thanks again Rose!!) and ease my mind.

My placenta is large and anterior so that will further delay regular kicks but after today I am definitely breathing much easier.

Now for a nap.

putting it out there...

I have my 20 week level 2 anatomy scan tomorrow.

I am really nervous, more than I want to even admit.

It just seems like my biggest hurdle.

No I will not be finding out the sex.

I wasn't even going to post this for fear of a jinx but I had to.

Breathe.

show and tell...

Bliss lost his first tooth of his own accord the day after Thanksgiving.
It is a big deal for so many reasons. I may have touched on it eons ago but will go through it in it's entirety and see if I can do so without breaking down.

When I was pregnant with Bliss I was on antibiotics twice for two different things. It is believed to have led to what Bliss went through but there are many school's of thought on it. I believe it was the cause as does my current pediatric specialist.

Anyhow Bliss' teeth came in falling apart. They were disintegrating immediately. He was exclusively breast fed for the first year and it is not a normal occurrence, but like with IF when you go through ECC (early childhood caries) you suddenly are opened to more info and meet others struggling with it. His teeth did not hurt him at first and I did not want to have to put him in a hospital to go under anesthesia at 9 months old so I waited.

Yes they started breaking off, but the only pain were the scabs on my nipples from his jagged teeth and he did not have pain yet. I could care less about my pain when he was faced with so much future hardship. At just after 12 months, his four front teeth were all broken down to gum level he began getting sensitive a bit and at 13 months I had to have them removed.

[I also want to take a second here to mention that in this world of ECC most people on the outside assume your child has Bottle Rot from neglect and there is quite a stigma tied to it. I was horrified though to hear stories of children being taken away by CPS due to severe cases of Bottle Rot when they may very well have had the problem from a completely different cause. ECC's

It is a predisposition to reacting badly to a normal mouth bacteria and then having that bacteria introduced into the weakened mouth. In my case they believe the antibiotics weakened his early immunity to it in utero and then likely he was exposed to it from me with anything from kissing to any contact with my saliva. All adults have the bacteria and kids get it sometimes early and sometimes later, but it usually only takes hold of a mouth susceptible to it from a weakened state or from severe neglect wearing down the mouth's resistance. A dear friend of mine from my Mother's Group had it with her second child and nothing at all with her first. She went through hell as well and could not get over how different it was for both her kids. CAN be caused by neglect and Bottle Rot and parents who fill bottle's with soda pop and all sorts of other crap, but this is not the only reason it happens and when it takes hold of a mouth, even from something as precious as kissing between mother and baby, it is not mentioned so much.]

I still did not want him having surgery at a hospital and I found a specialist who would do it very quickly with Novocaine and laughing gas. We spent that morning at the State Fair and then went to the appointment.

They were all wonderful and placed him on what they called a "huggy board" to hold him down, while I also held his hands and gave comfort. The entire procedure took less that 15 minutes from start to finish and it is the 15 minutes I wish most I could get back in my child's life. It is also when I learned my son does not react to laughing gas and barely reacts to Novocaine.

He was traumatized so deeply, which is not to say a hospital, an iv, and being away from me wouldn't have been worse, but with his amazing memory, at 6 years old now, he can recant the entire thing back to me and still does on occasion.

We still had teeth coming in with issues and I spent countless hours researching the problem trying to figure out what to do. He began chewing Xyletol gum between every meal along with the brushing and topical fluoride we used (which I am not even a fan of) and we tried hard to keep the decay at bay. He liked breast milk and water and orange juice but we were told no OJ, no dried fruit, night wean (I never did) and many other things, but for everything I was told by one person another expert would say it didn't matter, that it was already in his mouth (the bacteria that causes it) and that it would likely be a problem with all his baby teeth (though not his adult thank Goddess).

Finally a new dentist opened up a few towns away who offered in office twilight anesthesia and procedures. I went to her and she was not only amazing but her anesthesiologist was as well. Bliss now needed 2 crowns, my poor darling, and I was beside myself what to do. This office was terrific and they even arranged for surgery days to be no other clients, they would have the anesthesiologist meet us at the door and as I carried Bliss in he would greet and slyly give a shot to knock him out in order to then put him under. Yes the shot hurt him, but it was quick and I was assured he would not remember it because of what it was.

Well he DID remember it but it was a bit fuzzy and they were able to do all they needed to. They also informed me he took way more anesthesia than they expected and had a huge resistance to it. I was a wreck as it was the first time Bliss was away from me ever, even though it was just in a different room it felt like so much more When the anesthesiologist came out cradling Bliss in his arms while he still slept, as if he was his own child, I knew I was in the right spot.

Bliss has had to have 3 surgeries there, but I am happy to report it has been a year and a half since he had any decay. I use an amazing toothpaste that made a huge difference in not only his teeth but also mine (which has no fluoride btw) and the dentist really feels we are past the bad times with his baby teeth. We are still vigilant, and it has been hard both emotionally and economically (the insurance we had before would not cover this dentist or any surgery but a hospital stay so all the surgeries were cash or credit) but so worth it.

Bliss still has a lot of fear around the dentist and even though his last two visits and cleanings have been awesome, he has still done a lot of crying and hyperventilating. He is getting better but he remembers so much bad associated with the dentist it is hard for him.

So this is a really really long way of saying how big a deal it was for my baby to lose his first tooth of his own accord. It was also the first time the Tooth Fairy visited that he remembers. Back then she visited but he was still way to traumatized and young to get it or understand.

Now head over to Mel's and look at all the other Show and Tell's this week.