Thursday, June 28, 2007

5 dpo...

This whole business of TTC can really play mind games with ya. I am aware of this. I am not new to this. I know how much my mind can affect my body. I know what it is like to feel pregnant and get a negative HPT. I know what it feel like to hope and wish and what it feels like to have no hope.

But I am a science mind and I try to figure things out and make sense of things from a biological standpoint. I have been on progesterone during almost all of my TTC. I have low progesterone, I always have. These days I am not taking a ton, just on suppository a day. Before when I was taking 2-3 I had tons of symptoms which were from the progesterone. When I had my m/c the pregnancy symptoms ended almost completely within 24 hours of stopping the progesterone.

Last month I was taking the same amount I am this month. Last month my breasts never even twinged. This month the nipples began hurting before I even began the progesterone. But it was way to early to be feeling something. A day after ovulation is just too soon. Each day since my nipples have gotten worse.

I don't want the mind games, I just want to understand why sometimes they hurt and sometimes they don't. If this turns out to be my cycle I get my birthday wish, fantastic, but I know how easily it can go the other way. So I just want to understand why, how, what for.

Basically I want to not build up to much in my head and remain same for the next week.

2 om's.:

The Town Criers said...

That would be the best--if you could just get the explanation when you needed it. At the end of the cycle to understand what happened. During the cycle to put your mind at rest.

Sending a lot of peace.

marta said...

I just wanted to leave you a note to let you know that I am thinking of you.

(PS - My word verification includes tww)