Thursday, February 14, 2008

ultrasound at 6w6d...

I am finally home from the u/s.

There were 2 heartbeats.

They are measuring 6w3d each.

I am 6w6d.

The heart rates are a little slow but consistent for 6w3d.

He said this can be because of it being twins but we will have to wait and see.

I go back in 7 days and that should really tell us if things are progressing as they should.

So more waiting.

There has been growth from last week which is great, and there are beating little hearts.

I am doing my best to remain very positive.

I am not going to lie though, I wish today had been more...I don't know...conclusive. I realize that just isn't a possibility right now but I still wish it.

FYI last years m/c I was measuring 5 days behind at the first u/s, then at the next u/s 2 weeks later the baby was gone. The baby had died 3 days after the previous u/s. That is one reason I am so nervous. I have read twins can run a bit behind and the fact that both are measuring the same is a good sign from what doc says. I just get scared. Today is the first day I feel like I can say I am pregnant with twins, and that is to myself.

I have loved and hated all of the comments of late. I love all the support, but I gotta say everyone saying congrats on twins when I had only seen two yolk sacs was making me crazy. I do NOT want people to think they cannot congratulate me, it has just scared the snot out of me.

Also, as for attachment, I am already oh so very very much attached to both. It is so terrifying knowing each time I go in my world could come crashing down, or my dreams could come true. No one can "relax" through that. I am doing pretty well. I still think I should "feel" more pregnant but I am OK.

Thanks again to everyone.

17 om's.:

Sara said...

I can understand wanting more at that u/s, but it sounds like reason to be cautiously optimistic to me. I will be cautiously optimistic for you! Hang in there, and I'm looking forward to next week's results.

shassta said...

Bleu, I will withhold all my congrats and excited comments to myself, just letting you know I am here and reading and thinking positive thoughts for you as usual

sandra said...

Sending good energy your way.
*hugs*

Anonymous said...

Bleu,

To feel scared and unsure is normal with TTC patients. I think it is all scary until you finally give birth, hang in there. What meds are you on? Are they watching your progesterone levels?

K said...

I'm sorry, but this is fantastic news and I can't help but be thrilled for you! You're going to be nervous for 7 more days, then 7 more months, then 7 more years, then... that's kinda the parent drill, isn't it? I know your past experience has permanently tinted your outlook, but statistically, your odds of everything working out skyrocket once you hear a heartbeat. I know you know this, but some things bear reminding. :-)

Right now you are pregnant with two little ones complete with beating hearts and growth that is remarkably close for dates. Of all my queer friends who have been pregnant (read: artificially inseminated so they know exactly what day, hour, and minute they are on), I don't know anyone who measures to the appropriate day by ultrasound. It's okay to be attached and we will all grieve with and for you if something goes wrong, but it's also okay to be excited at the wonderful, optimistic news you were given today, as hard as it may be for you to leg go of the fears a little bit. You can do it, hon. You've earned the right to take a breath.

ohchicken said...

hoping so much with you.

tobacco brunette said...

Sorry the news from today's u/s was such a mixed bag. I can just imagine how nervous and anxious you must be feeling.

Please take care. I'm thinking of you.

Michell said...

Sorry that todays ultrasound didn't give you more confidence in all of this but hopefully next weeks will be better. Hoping that all goes well.

Solitaire said...

I'm glad that they grew and that there are little beating hearts! That's great news right there. And I hope your next u/s is more reassuring.

Neenie/PawsNY said...

omg heartbeats on valentine's day? HEARTBEATS???? LIL BEATING HEARTS????
Bleu I cannot even come here and read because I am so excited and have no words other than my usual OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! I cant handle it!
OMGGGG HEARTBEATS??? LIL BABY HEARTBEATS? Boom Boom, Boom Boom???
OMG I cant deal- there are 2 tiny peanuts in there growing and becoming strong little people. You stay strong as well- this is going places :) GOOD places!

Tanya said...

I measured a week behind at my first ultrasound... I was just too naive to know that might not be a good thing. And if it's normal for twins to measure a little behind... I'll be thinking of you and your little peanuts.

calliope said...

sending you lots of love. (& keeping my squeals to myself...for now. bwha ha ha!)

xo

owlie said...

sorry this wasn't a woo hooo! type result. but i am still thinking woo hoo to myself!
Hoping so hard for you that the next ultrasound(s) are more reassuring and that your worries are blown away (i know with your journey so far you will always worry, but i can do nothing but hope that that will change for you)

owlie from enough grows

lady in waiting said...

Mine measured two days behind and their heartbeats weren't spectacular either at the first ultrasound from what I recall. I can understand your cautious optimism, and I didn't want anyone congratulating me either until after the first trimester. Even at 20 weeks it is still something I am sensitive about and feel weird about.
My RE was very realistic and told me that a twin pregnancy was "subject to change" before the first 12 weeks, but the likelihood of having one turn out healthy and sustainable was very good. I know you are attached to both already. I felt the same. But I tried taking the approach of, "well at least I have a really good chance of getting one healthy baby out of this" at first, which made me and DH feel better. Don't know if that helps you or not. Anyway, I am here for you. LMK if you have twin pg q's. xoxo

Sonya said...

I am so happy for you!!!!!! Just so you remember me you answered several questions about thyroid antibodies for me.

Sonya

The Town Criers said...

I am very quietly and very carefully clapping over here in the corner. Gently. That is a good word. I am congratulating you gently.

PregnantInNyc said...

I know you posted this a really long time ago, but the same thing happened to me today. I measured 6w3d and I'm 6w6d... But with a singleton.

:(

Really hoping to keep the faith.