Saturday, March 29, 2008

irrational anger...

The bleeding has pretty much stopped. The research I did on withdrawal bleeding is basically my hormones dropped out causing a massive bleed. Not a true period but at the same time. A withdrawal is technically what you have during the off week on BCP as well.

Today all I have mainly is just stringy mucus, not like CM, more like, well I am not sure. It is loooooong and clear with tinge of blood and comes out in super long strings. I have been having rough cramps though.

The main problem is I am angry. For no reason. It is sooo hormonally induced. It is this kind of seething rage where I want to go off at anyone and everyone for absolutely anything. It has been so bad I have been trying to stay in my room and avoid everyone. This is not easy with a little one. I explained what was going on but it is just not a concept he can really understand. My poor roomie has been yelled at all day. I keep explaining it is just irrational feelings from hormones but it has been a very tense and uncomfortable day for everyone to say the least.

I was trying to fix something on Bliss's computer this evening and it kept coming unplugged and turning off. It is my old laptop and the plug has to be duct taped on and the battery holds no charge. Well after the third time going though the whole process and it turning off I took it, closed, and threw it on the floor hard. I was sitting and it was carpeted, but when turned back on there is only a half screen working. I am sooo remorseful and irritated at myself. I apologized profusely and he was great as usual. I told him this was why a person should not act out in anger.

Needless to say I am now needing to get another computer. This was planned for this past x-mas but with the IVF failure and whatnot I had decided to postpone. I guess now I am not.

I was planning on getting a Mac, finally. I have some closing questions for all you Mac Heads out there. I use a laptop usually, but only at home. I only ever move it on occasion. I am thinking of getting an iMac from the Apple Store. It is refurbished and a great price. Can you move it relatively easy?? Secondly is the extended plan really worth it? I never get them for PC's but that is because PC's are not worth it. Lastly .mac, is it worthwhile? I would really like to backup away from home without worrying my flash drive will crash. I would also really like to store pics someplace other than disks.

Thanks in advance for any and all advice.

6 om's.:

The Town Criers said...

Wait--do you want the iMac (desktop) or the Macbook (laptop)? We know a bit about the Macbooks. Josh had to use the extended plan once and they were very helpful. So...he says go with that. But he doesn't know anything about .mac.

Though he'd like to pass along that Macs are cooler.

I'm sorry about the anger, sweetie.

vee said...

You anger is totally rational, it's just leaking out all over the place, and that's understandable. Don't be so hard on yourself.

j said...

I figured that $250 was a lot of money for two-three years of protection and it comes with a one year warranty. I think my local computer fixer =would be able to trouble shoot and fix any issues for much less money, so I didnt go with the extended plan.

I found that the mid range macbook laptop was perfect for my needs, and had extra room to grow - and I love the programs that are built in. I wish it had word on it, but i may be able to send you that if you need it.

Also, find someone in college to buy it with - 100$ off for educational discount.

Michell said...

I know nothing about Mac's. Good luck though. So sorry about all the mood stuff. That is really hard to do.

JJ said...

my macbook is fabulous...i do not, however, know much about .mac
i use an external hard drive to back up all my stuff. but macs are definitely cool=)

sorry the anger is still gripping you tightly

jay said...

if it makes you feel any better, I've just broken my router in a similar situation! and yes, i am very ashamed. sigh! xx