Thursday, March 13, 2008

trudging along...

I am doing a bit better. Thanks so much for all the kind encouragement. It got dark for a bit. I am just not feeling ok still. I get cramps on and off and spot here and there. Yesterday I passed so clotty-ish stuff again. I also am just either bitchy or crying or overreacting it seems. Roomie picked up the wrong potato salad the other day and you would have thought she lost my dog. It is just ridiculous.

I do have a plan for getting better in my head. I am not really in the mood to go into it but I can at least envision getting better which is positive.

In other news I am planning on making a nice Irish meal for St. Patty's day this weekend. I decided to do the corned beef and cabbage meal on Sunday and then do Reuben Sandwiches on Monday this year. I love me a good sandwich. I am also looking forward to the Irish Soda Bread from Whole Foods. It is so incredible and you can only get it once a year. I have made my own but theirs is so amazing. I am not sure I have ever mentioned it, but I am mostly Irish in all of my "mutt-ness" and I always feel obligated to celebrate this day at least cooking the traditional foods. I also feel as if I must have at least one drink as well. I am MORE than fine with that this year with what's going on. I just cannot really do the traditional Irish drink. I cannot handle Whiskey or Beer. I somehow doubt I would like Mead or Poitin (can anyone tell I was looking up Irish drinks yesterday?). I will likely either have a pear cider, which I do enjoy, or I will stick with my usual Margarita or Champagne.

I think it is pretty obvious I am looking for distractions and this is one. I have also taken half a mg of Ativan the last three nights before bed to try and get to sleep early so as not to spend the night crying and awake. I find it interesting I am crying more now than when I found out. I am still trying to let the emotions come and flow through, but I cannot keep up the staying up half the night thing and expect to do ok during the day. It has helped a bit. I really think the HCG not being at zero yet has messed with me the most. It is like it has postponed me being able to move on and that has really fucked with my psyche.

I am really hoping as soon as I zero out I will truly have a fresh outlook on all of this, or at least be able to focus on the next cycle.

18 om's.:

Neenie/PawsNY said...

OK- with all due respect, let's put EVERYTHING aside and discuss what is truly important in life...the Reuben Sammiches! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THOSE ARE THE BEST AND I AM SOOOOO EXCITED YOU ARE MAKING THEM AND I AM SO COMING OVER!!!
Once you eat a reuben- all the world's problems go away you know. If it doesn't work after the first one, keep eating them....you may have to eat like 7 though...

Lizzie said...

hi there, bleu. i was playing around on etsy (looking for my own distractions!) and saw this and thought of you. maybe if you wrote the artist/seller, she could make what you're looking for (the hat).
xo

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=10206045

bleu said...

Thanks Lizzie. That one is knitted and acrylic and mine was crocheted and cotton. I have found some similar though and will be trying to contact a few soon. Thanks again.

bleu said...

Neenie you are toooo funny. I am OF COURSE making french fries with it and having a great dill pickle on the side. I am basically looking forward to the Reuben sandwich more than the traditional meal the day before, and with grainy mustard, mmmmm.

Solitaire said...

I had Poitin once when I was there visiting. Never, ever again. I wouldn't recommend trying it! I usually have myself a Guinness if I'm being Irish, but what about Bailey's? You might like that.

Sorry you're still feeling down. I think just letting the emotions out as you're doing is about all you can do, really. Hopefully it will get better once the HCG goes to zero.

JJ said...

All this talk of food--Im HUNGRY!
Just wanted to pop in to say you have been in my thoughts...

nancy said...

MMmmmmm. Irish food. YUM. I gotta try to Irish soda bread from whole foods. Going to call them to make sure my city's store will be making it!

I don't think I'm going to be allowed a guinness this weekend. We go to a huge party, but with the start of stims, I've been forbade. lol. "forbade". Maybe a small pint. (lol. small pint.)

nancy said...

oh, and if you are looking for distractions, I have some meme's you can do.

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(totally kidding)

bleu said...

Nancy you are too funny. When I got the email for moderation and read it the bottom was not visible and I muttered out loud "oh F%$# that, how dare her" then I scrolled down and laughed my ass off. So thanks for the great laugh today.

calliope said...

I loooooove cabbage. Just thought I would say that.

I also like Sarah's idea of having Baily's.

sending love...but you knew that!

xo

bleu said...

Bailey's Irish Cream is a western bastardized version of an Irish drink. Irish coffee has Irish whiskey, coffee, cream and sugar and I do NOT like whiskey, even dressed up like that. lol

I think Bailey's is ok but not with a meal. It is like a desert. Hence the cider thing.

Anyhow thanks for qall the suggestions.

nancy said...

That's what I was hoping for. I knew the moderation showed the first few lines and didn't want to ruin the chance to make you end up laughing. I'm just glad you read it before just deleting it! :)

tobacco brunette said...

I've been thinking about you a lot.

Your Irish treats sound fun, but I have to say I'm more of a whiskey girl than a cider drinker. I hope you enjoy making and eating your meals. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mrs. Bluemont said...

Yum! You made my mouth water. I think I'll have to join the samwich bandwagon. I can't imagine life without whiskey though.

Whatever your distraction, enjoy. Thinking of you everyday.

xo

sandra said...

Here's to zeroing out soon!

lady in waiting said...

omg! i LOVE irish soda bread. we just had some this week, only my husband ate 90% of it. i think your st. patty's day plans are a great idea and will be lots of fun. don't think about the beta this weekend, just relax and enjoy bliss and the food!

owl said...

glad you are trudging along. hoping your beta bottoms in record time.

i think of you often and thought you should know.

have a lovely irish dinner...event planning is very distracting i think!

gold star said...

Y.U.M.