Wednesday, August 13, 2008

ivf #3 11dp5dt (second beta)...

It is 166.

The doc says it is a great perfect doubling and not to worry.

Ha.

I am in tears because I have been stressed waiting all day.

I feel like I want it higher but maybe nothing would make me satisfied.

He does not want to do any other beta's. He says it is good.

I am scheduled for my first u/s on Sept. 2 at 9am.

I am a wreck and wish I wasn't.

edited to add: I should add that my doc not asking for more beta's is his way of causing me LESS stress. Last pregnancy (you can go back to Jan 08) I had a third because the second was a little low. the third was good but then I had a fourth which was a little low and then a fifth which was also a little low. Needless to say all of the beta's did nothing but stress me out more and more. Nothing really matters after a doubling except for an u/s anyways. So my doc is likely wanting to get me to stress less by this. I looked back in my blog to that time and all the beta's really did make me crazier than need be. I am doing everything possible to keep this pregnancy going well, and I am going to try my best to enjoy these next 19 days being pregnant, because I am, pregnant. I am terrified, and want this so bad it is nearly killing me emotionally, but all I can do is find ways to get from one day to the next over and over and ope that my u/s will show one or two babies measuring right on for dates, because that is what I need to happen.

29 om's.:

tobacco brunette said...

Oh sweetie...*hugs*

Can't you say you really want another beta for sanity's sake? September 2 is a long way off to wait with just the reassurance of two betas.

I'd feel the same way you do. On the one hand, we know from the betabase that your 86 is a good number and that you doubled nicely. On the other hand, seeing it double one or two more times - since your numbers aren't as high as would make you comfortable - would not hurt.

He seems like the world's most compassionate doc...surely he'll give you another beta if you think it would make you feel better, right?

Or would it not make you feel better?

Thinking of you, love.

XOXOXOXOXOX

Love,
Kristin

Melody said...

I'm sorry you're stressed out. I know from experience that nothing anyone can say will probably make you feel better until you see that ultrasound. FWIW-- it looks like a healthy 2nd beta to me. I would push again for a 3rd beta too if it will give you peace of mind.

nancy said...

It does look like a perfectly doubled second beta. Sure, it's a few numbers off, but not enough to cause alarm.

When I got my umpteen betas, I was stressed out. Point being, even WITH getting betas, I was still all over the place in my emotions. What I did was bought a shitload of hpts (the kinds with the two pink lines) and watched that stupid second line get darker every other day. Made me feel better. :)

MrsSpock said...

Those are good numbers! Considering what you've already been through your fear is understandable. I have the feeling if ultrasounds were as accessible as home dopplers, we'd all be breaking out the Wonder Wand on ourselves on a regular basis.

Maybe you could hornswaggle Mr Nice Doc into a 3rd beta?

Billy said...

Wow, that sounds like a very nice doubling!
Your doctor is probably right to not let you take a third beta if it might stress you out.
Hope these 19 days will fly by quickly so you will be able to see your little baby/ies as soon as possible!

annacyclopedia said...

I understand that more betas might be more stressful instead of less. I think you're right on just to take it all one day at a time - you've gotta do that anyway, right? I'll be here, along with everyone else, holding your hand and your hope, praying, wishing, meditating, sending loving kindness, and generally crossing everything available for a perfect u/s on September 2.

Catherine said...

I think your numbers are perfect. But, the most reassuring thing will be the ultrasound. I am glad I never had numbers when I was pg, it would have made me crazy. I hope the 2nd gets here soon.

aspiring baker said...

sounds perfect to me! crossing my digits for you.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

The numbers are perfect and I am simply holding you in my heart right now.

Cece said...

Hurrah for perfect doubling!!! September 2... guess that means that my long awaited vacation is pretty damn close (I'm going on Labor Day).

So. Happy.

(but you knew that all ready)

Malea said...

wonderful news Bliss. Now just sit back and enjoy the ride.The battle is half over:)

Jennifer said...

I agree - no more betas. They'll just drive you nuts. The chart looks perfect that you posted with your 2 betas listed. I think I only did 2 betas and then had an u/s a week or two later...sound like the perfect plan for you too...I know it will probably seem like Sept 2nd is so far way, but it will be here before you know it!!!

battynurse said...

I understand the concept of no more betas to decrease stress but I also understand wanting to know more. I hope the stress calms down for you a bit. Hugs to you.

ohchicken said...

more betas or no, i hope that you find your deep breath in all of this--a chance to exhale all of the anxiety (or at least a wee bit).

i believe in you.
i believe in this pregnancy.

Neenie/PawsNY said...

You relax young lady :) You seem to have the most compassionate and sweetest doctor on earth so you just hang tight and be positive- You are fine and you will be fine. In fact, you will be better than fine. You will be an amazing mom for the 2nd time! CONGRATULATIONS MISSY!!!

jay said...

HOORAY for great doubling! You take care, love. xxxx

vee said...

I'm so pleased your second beta is such a good looking one. Hang in there until the 2nd. Keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other - there's no way round this scary time - only way is through. You taught me that.

Patricia said...

When I got more betas, they were reassuring for about 5 minutes and then I still had to wait. And wonder. And try not to worry. So I think that no matter what, the challenge is always to live in the moment and know that the future will take care of itself.

HAHAHAHAAA!!! I know, what a joke. And I don't mean to minimize your fears in any way. I'd have them too. Everyone does after loss(es). After years of wanting and trying and working.

You said it. You're pregnant. And I hope you can find ways to revel in that beautiful experience in the here and now. Be gentle with yourself. Hold your belly, talk to your baby and enjoy this day.

Sara said...

well, i'm not well-versed in betas, but looking at your chart - things look really good! It must be stressful after all you've gone through to wait. I'm thinking of you, and sending you peaceful thoughts of pregnancy bliss.

calliope said...

how great is that chart?!
can not WAIT until your u/s!!

xoxo
And congrats, lady!!!

dakota said...

I hear what you need to happen. I feel it. I hear it. I so want it for you and for Bliss.

I must tell you though, I'm kinda loving your current numbers. (Cool chart after my own heart)

I was reading your words last night from January. I agree, the testing can be stressful. Would it be harder to wait for the u/s?

BTW what are you eating these days?
Anything particularly yummy?

With you for this journey, sending you love.

Jen said...

Sending you lots of love girl.

I know there isn't anything to say to make you feel better about the betas. I know from my own personal beta hell the only thing to reassure me was an ultrasound.

So I'll hope for time to fly and a happy wonderful outcome.

Hugs!

Amber said...

It doubled. Your pregnant. Now way to ever stop worrying about our little ones, even when they are walking around on the outside. I like that you are trying to remain calm, stay centered, and enjoy being pregnant. Just breath and hope. Thinking about you.

LJ said...

I'm sending only positive vibes your way! As someone above said - you ARE pregnant! Celebrate. With Wendy's or otherwise ;)

Topcat said...

Bleu, I am SO sorry that I am only catching up right now .....

My beta was 66, at 12dp2dt. I remember being SO disappointed. Have you looked at betabase? It made me feel better.

My love and thoughts are with you, so very, very much. It's hard, that it takes so much to get where you are, and now there is a different ballgame to worry about.

I hope you don't worry too much, and can enjoy it.

XOXOXOXXOXOX

theclam said...

That is such fantastic news! Congratulations Bleu!!! I've been away from blogs for a few days and this just makes my heart sing! Whoo Hoo!!!

dakota said...

I really appreciate your comments on my blog yesterday. Means a lot. I'm still working on it as they say.

Wondering how you are feeling.
Hoping it is a good day...
Sending you light and love.

Sam said...

Good job uterus! Keep it up!!

K said...

OK, I am so far beyond late but... WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! What wonderful news to come home to. I am so, so, SO excited for you my friend. I had such a great feeling for you this time and I'm so glad that Soul seems to be firmly on his or her way to you. I'm with you - 9/2 feels like an eternity away but just keep peeing on sticks as often as you need to and know that you have all of us cheering you on and sending buckets full of positive, nurturing energy your way.