Friday, August 29, 2008

my politics...

I am catching up with the DNC and I wrote this post the other night. I have hesitated on posting it because I do not write much in depth about my personal politics on this blog. I feel passionately about this but it is still difficult to post here. I have decided I cannot NOT post it so here it is.



I just watched Michelle Obama's speech. In tears of course. And the thing I kept being struck with was how she still believed in the United States of America.

First off I will say I do like Obama, a lot, I have always been his supporter for this election, from before he even declared he was running. I think he is the best chance for this country for sure. I will be casting my vote this November for him. But here is the thing, this country, I do not believe in it any more. And I do not say this lightly. I say this with sad pain and tears.

I say this knowing that many many of my fellow countrymen do not believe I am an equal citizen. Obama does not even believe I am an equal citizen worth equal rights under the law. I say this knowing that many of my fellow countrymen believe it is ok to bomb other countries for possessing the exact weapons of mass destruction we have in abundance, and ok to bomb countries with lies saying they have such weapons even though it is only for the oil they rightfully own.

I say this knowing that greed, machismo, selfishness, and violence are lauded here while feeling, and helping those less fortunate or who have had less opportunities is considered weak. I say this knowing that education is not a priority, that even supplying enough books to classrooms takes a back seat to building new sports arena's and padding local politicians pockets.

I say it looking at how we became this country, at how we treated this land and those who inhabited it long before we did and how we still treat those people today. I say it knowing how we treat the land still and how we tell ourselves we are the center of the universe from our little sheltered bubble of ignorance and intolerance.

I grew up extremely patriotic. The 4th of July was our biggest holiday in our home and becoming old enough to vote was equal to getting to drive. But it was a rhetoric kind of patriotism that our current president lives for and my pathetically racist, homophobic, intolerant father preached from birth to disownment.

I woke up, finally, and spent many years working for just causes trying hard to cleanse my karma for my sadly brainwashed childhood and early adulthood. I grew wiser and more aware and had hope for change and gave my time and energy to help create that change.

But then I had a child, a male child, and everything changed. I became so acutely aware how much less of a person I was considered here. I became acutely aware how much of a real possibility that there would be more war mongering idiots in positions of power and making my son serve in a war in the future.

I didn't want to raise my kid where his mother was viewed as less than from the get to. I didn't want to raise my son where he could be forced to kill innocent people for profit. I didn't want to raise him where all the things I was repulsed by the most were considered virtues.

And I lost faith in this country. So I did the work and have got the immigration papers and very soon will leave this country. But it hurts, and it is sad and it is not always easy.

11 om's.:

MrsSpock said...

Giving up citizenship must have been a very difficult decision. I don't think I could ever do it- but of course, I'm not a 2nd class citizen. Hopefully by the time our boys are grown, the world will have inched along to a slightly better place.

mulberry said...

yes, yes, yes and yes...

i feel all those frustrations, disappointments, amazements at the gaul we have when it comes to judging other countries misdeeds from the midst of a kingdom of our own misdeeds...

i have spent many many years fighting for independent voices in this country. i am an Obama supporter and it is the first time in about 20 years i am truly supporting a Democrat - because as an Independent i have never felt that there was any hope for that party to regain its true goals and purpose... i still don't think much of the party, but i believe Obama is not invested in party politics in the same way as those in the past and that works for me. he truly seems interested in helping to create a country i can be proud to live in again. i have not come to the same place about leaving, but i have struggled with what it means for me to stay, and what my responsibility is as a citizen to help create the country *i* want this to be.

thank you for your words and for sharing what is in you heart about this.

much love...

Momma Mikki said...

It's funny, try as I might, I am completely uninspired by Obama. Perhaps I am cynical. Perhaps my years of political education and working within the system have jaded me. Perhaps I'm just too logical to believe that a dream can come to fruition in 4 years...or even 8 years.

The thing is, the Obama talk feels like rhetoric to me. I don't believe it and I will only vote for him because my alternatives, McCain or sitting it out, are not alternatives for me.

I say this only because I am continually interested in people who are true Obama supporters. I keep looking for the one speech, one post, one event that will drag me on board the Obama train.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you all that you deserve. Canada is wonderful. Bye.

Melody said...

Anonymous-- proud Americans aren't afraid to post their names and blog addresses.

And to Bleu: Solidarity, sister. Being disappointed in this country is not a betrayal of it; nor is voting with your feet by leaving it. It doesn't mean you love it any less.

p.s. You deserve to be a happy and valued citizen. I'm sure that's what Anonymous meant.

butterflyanla said...

I was originally a political science major in college. I began loosing faith in the government gradually and changed my major. This day in 2005 was the last nail in the coffin. After Katrina I felt the government just left the City of New Orleans to die. I am not sure I will even be voting in November. Not that the government cares about my one little vote any ways. It truly saddens me that a constitution (flawed) originally written to protect the citizens from the government is now used to strengthen the government and harm the people. Sometimes living here just makes me sick.

annacyclopedia said...

Thank you, Bleu, for sharing this part of your journey. I'm really in awe of your courage - to get to this point yourself, and also to speak about it. Like it or not, our nationality is a part of who we are, and to leave that part behind must be very painful. Melody is right, though - it's not a betrayal. Your job is look out for yourself and your family, and you're doing it beautifully, as always.

I'm sure you know that Canada has its fair share of shameful history, troubling social policy and resident bigots. But I have to say that when I hear stories from my bloggy sisters about their struggles with health insurance, or with (what I consider to be) ridiculously short maternity leave, or labour laws that offer workers no protection, I'm really thankful I'm Canadian. And hearing how painful it is to be a second class citizen - you, who is beyond first class in every way that I know - well, it's all so fucking unfair. You come on up, girl - I for one will be glad (and by glad I mean ecstatically overjoyed) to have you.

The Fonaholics said...

Just in case you don't see this in my comments "Thats amazing Bleu, thank you so much for the info on Hashimoto's... I will look into Selenium immediately. And i LOVE brazil nuts!!!!!!! My level is only 64!!!! Thank you so much, you have made my day!!"

Kim and I spent almost 5 weeks with 21 Americans (Kim's mum was born in Warren, Michigan) and while we were in Malta there was a family reunion. I can tell you that you are not alone in the way you are feeling!!

tobacco brunette said...

Very brave post about a decision that can be extremely unpopular with some.

Of course, with the recent selection of Palin for republican VP you're probably rethinking your decision to go, right? : )

I mean, if Cheney just wasn't conservative enough for you, the beauty queen is here to save the day.

Anonymous said...

I think actually that I did put my name on my recent post, Melody. I'll do it again to see if it shows up. Not sure what you meant, but I'm NOT a proud American --- I'm a much shamed one. Nevertheless, I think Bleu certainly can leave this country if that's in her best interest. Canada, for all its wonderfulness, has its own problems and shameful history. I admire people more, though, who stay here and slug through the muck to make this a better country than it currently is --- god knows, it can't get much worse --- or can it? Many of us have had a hard road -- and our children's future is what gives us energy to hang on! Melody, think more carefully --- all is not what it may seem.

Jodi

Neenie/PawsNY said...

Bleu rocks....you are a strong woman who knows what she believes and what is best for herself and her family. I am proud that you are so angry! I am proud of you that you are ACTING on it and making life better for YOU and your child(ren!) That takes a strong woman....and Canada is awesome as well :) Hope you'll be near Toronto so I can come visit!!!!