Saturday, August 09, 2008

ivf #3 7dp5dt...

I POAS and it was negative.

And just for those who curse themselves for being silly and reading into stuff and think it is because you are still relatively new at this. I have had heartburn the past 24 hours (only ever had when pregnant), I am smelling stuff too much and it all smells yuck, I woke this morning from vivid unpleasant dreams, my uterus feels "full" but yes, it is negative. I am so proud to admit I even did the flashlight shining on it in hopes I could magically make some faint line appear. Yes, this is after 19 tries that I am still this pathetic (I know not really I am venting here) and I still want to believe. Is all hope gone? Of course not, but to be honest hope is not something I am very fond of at this moment.

Also, for those who wonder, I do better testing before Beta, even though it makes me very sad and hurt when I have waited for Beta and it has been negative I have been much worse off. This way at least prepares me for the negative.

13 om's.:

Catherine said...

I always tested before BETA. I could not wait for some nurse to give me news, I could get my own. Too much of a control freak. I have used a flashlight too. I hope your body is right and the tests are wrong. I am crossing every body part I can.

Laurie said...

I recently started reading along with your blog. I had 2 frozen embryos transferred 2 days after you... and I've POAS... and it's negative. But, like you, I *feel* differently then the test is saying. I'm rooting for you...

LJ said...

I was a firm believer in the POAS method. I always needed to know before I got "the call".

holly said...

I always test before a beta. No matter how hard I try not I end up testing 10dpo. In the past i have always known way before I got a positive test. I only have certain issues when I'm pregnant. Don't discard the heartburn or dreams!

Billy said...

|hugs|
So frustrating to see another negative. I hope so much that it's a false negative and you'll get to see a positive.

calliope said...

totally POAS before betas. as soon as possible. Like you I just needed time to process/prepare.
But your body is certainly reading one way...hmmmmmm
can I be a brat and ask what brand of test you are using??

annacyclopedia said...

I'm hoping that your feelings are right and the test is just a bit early. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Steph said...

I am a firm believer in POAS. Some would say I'm a POAS-aholic. I start the day after IUI or ET - I like to watch the trigger leave my body, then I expect to see negatives and then I hope that another line comes up. I could never just wait for beta. I needed the day after day of negatives to slowly prepare me to hear the bad news. However, I still have lots of hope for you. It's not over yet mama. I have such positive feelings about this for you, I just can't give up hope yet. Big hugs!

Rosany said...

I still believe its too early to test. Your embryos looked beautiful.

Rosany, Pam and the boys.

Solitaire said...

Damn, I'm sorry it was negative again. And it's not silly at all to cling on to hope - if we didn't have hope we wouldn't do the IVFs in the first place.

carey said...

Damn HPT. Ok, what brand are you using???

Melody said...

Still holding out hope here. I only had the faintest of positives (and that under a 100 watt light bulb) on 14 dpo and then a beta of only 32, but it kept going.

owlie said...

i have hope for you still. sending love and wishes your way.