Saturday, May 17, 2008

ramble on...

So I changed it again. I am in that place of being restless and anxious and irritated all at the same time.

I have never before used Gonal-f. I always used Follistim. I am currently using both thanks to some amazing women who were so thoughtful. My doc thinks it is amazing, this community. he even reads some blogs now which I adore him for. We get to discuss all things blog world at my visits.

Anyhow I have never used it and it is really strong smelling. Has anyone else noticed that. I never smell the Follistim though. Strange.

I also do not know if anyone has had mood side effects from Gonal-f. I seem to either be having more Lupron bitchiness or I am having effects from the Gonal-f. I am just so overwrought about every damn little thing. I feel so put upon at times it is sick. Like for normal everyday things. It is making me nuts and my poor child. I just keep saying "mama is cranky now and please know she is no fun and sorry" and he is great but it is just not fair to him. This morning I was so upset for no reason and I told him after I got off the treadmill that I was going to have breakfast and then a bath and try to get out of my cranky mood. He said "you know what you have to do to not be cranky anymore mama, you have to cry."

He is soooo amazing. It also goes back to the day after he was born. We were in the hospital and he was crying a bunch and it was the first time I was unable to soothe him and I was on the verge of sobbing and holding it in to not upset him and a friend came by and said "stop doing that, let him experience all of you" and I began bawling and he was instantly quiet and soothed. It just amazes me he still is so intuitive with it.

Anyhow I am doing much better but really would like the no-feeling bitch stuff to stop. I am usually a huge empath and on these drugs it is like it leaves which is just so NOT me it is hard to be in my skin at times.

Anyhow tomorrow we celebrate Aunt's Day (our own tradition, I only remember it if it is the week after Mother's day) and we shopped today and had a nice time.

Oh and I almost forgot, as of yesterday I have lost 15 pounds. I am also doing the treadmill again 3-4 days a week. The sad part is I am now just really at my previous high.

Monday is my cd9 ultrasound.

Funny, I was going to make this a 2 sentence post.

12 om's.:

Melissa said...

Dr. Z reads blogs? See...this is why I love him.

I also have 2 900IU vials of Gonal-f coming from a "friend" on a board. My husband is a little wary of it, but I figure why not?

The Gonal-f has a definite smell. Not necessarily a bad smell-it always reminded me of the way a new bandaid smells.

So, when is your day 9 u/s?

bleu said...

Thanks for reminding me. Monday is my cd9. I just added that to the post.

R said...

Thanks always for your wonderful comments. They are much appreciated!! I think it's fABULOSU that you have lost 15 pounds. I need to lose 10 at least. It's so hard though! LOL!! Hope all is well!

annacyclopedia said...

I love hearing about Bliss - he sounds like such an amazing child. I hope the moodiness passes soon and that all goes well on Monday.

tobacco brunette said...

You're doctor sounds so cool.

I've never used Gonal-f, but I'm sorry it's being so hard on you.

Bliss is such an insightful little guy and have I mentioned how beautiful he is?

Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you, hon.


The Town Criers said...

I like the new look. And 15 pounds is an amazing accomplishment.

Bliss reminds me of a phoenix--healing power of tears. Quiet grace.

Michell said...

Love the new look. Very cool. And yes to the smell of gonal f. I think I blogged about that the injectible cycle I used it. It also made my pee smell funny (sorry for tmi)and made me totally bitchy and emotional.
Bliss does sound like an amazingly insightful little guy.
And I can't wait to schedule an appointment with the doctor and get to meet him.

Pepper said...

I love the new design! I wish I was half as creative and artistic.

Great job with the weight loss. A loss is a loss, no matter where you started. And it must be so nice to have two such amazing guys in your life.

Sam said...

It's beautiful! I think it is my favorite so far. It seems to reflect what is going on inside of you, the others were more calming but this is amazing.

calliope said...

love the new look!
will be thinking of you today.

Jess said...

Damn, I just tried to comment and I don't think it went through...

I wanted to say thanks for your helpful and soothing comment on my blog. I wish you a wonderful cd9 ultrasound today with lots of big fat follies. Also, I LOVE the new look of the blog, and am inspired by your weight loss!!

Jen said...

Your blog is sooo pretty! Fancy you...

And I think Gonal F stinks. I noticed it the first time I used it. Funky weird smell.

And today is day nine? We are only a day apart then! Yay!