Thursday, May 22, 2008

triggered...

So I just took my trigger shot. It always gets super hot after I give the HCG shot. Doc says I react to the bacteriostatic agent and it is common but it is strange.

My ER is scheduled for 9:30am Friday, I am to be there at 9am. I am half excited, half nervous, and half afraid. Yes I said halves and not thirds, it is because I am just that much overwhelmed. ha ha ha

I am not actually overwhelmed, I am just, as usual and as is everyone in this place, wanting this to work so badly. It is like you try to steel your heart and pump it up all at the same time.

Bliss tonight was talking all about the babies and how he wants two, a boy and a girl. I went over (as I always do) how it could be just one and it could be either gender and even if we get two it could be either and it could also be none. He said he knew but if that happened we would just try again because "we will never quit!!!!!!!" I agreed with him and kissed him and then he talked about how much he wanted a baby and how much he wanted a brother and a sister. It is so very bittersweet and it fulfills me and breaks my heart all at the same time.

I am doing well still on the food/weight loss front. I have lost 17 pounds and that is with likely bloat gain from the meds. I made some awful oatmeal/tofu/egg white pancakes this morning just to try and curb my craving I have been happening as ER/ET gets closer and while they were not very good they did curb it a bit. For dinner I has some light soup and 5 rye crisps lightly buttered with fresh strawberries for desert. I am allowed and I stayed well within my calorie range for the day but see I have not had crackers, even rye ones, at all this month and I really do think it was because of the oatmeal pancakes that I wanted them. Carb begets carb, carb-like begets carb-like.
I am motivated though as I see the weight continue to drop. I still cannot say if this next 7 days will include any trips to IHOP or not but I am ok with not making that decision just yet.

14 om's.:

Michell said...

Good luck on Friday. I will be thinking of you.

Jess said...

All the best for tomorrow's ER...I have very high hopes for you!! Hang in there.

R said...

CHeers trigger shot!! :) We love you! LOL!! I want to lose 17 pounds, well, not really, 10 would be nice though :) LOL! How did you do it?? Just wanted to send you positive thoughts :)

Mrs. Bluemont said...

Wow! I can't believe it's here already. I dreamed of you last night Bleu, and at the risk of sounding internet stalky, I'll admit that you were breastfeeding. It was so beautiful. I hope you take it as a good omen and will be holding that child in your arms before long.

The complexities of your heart make you such an interesting and resilient person. I really admire how well you've handled everything.

oxoxxo

The Town Criers said...

I have to get the book from the library, but I once made this great flour-free, high protein pancake recipe. The Wolvog could not tell the difference between real pancakes and these. Even I ate them and I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally picky. It was an easy recipe and I wish I had written it down, but I'll get it this week. We called them Cloud Pancakes because they were so light and fluffy. Maybe they'll curb the craving?

Sending a lot of luck for tomorrow.

K said...

You're on my calendar for some concentrated positive energy at 9:30am PST. I'm hoping with everything I've got that tomorrow's retrieval will scoop up the egg that will bring Soul into your arms where he or she belongs!

Jen said...

Wishing you all the best tomorrow! Lots and lots of healthy eggs!

And I'm so jealous of your weight loss. It's amazing.

Sending you lots of hugs and well wishes!

timaree said...

I'm sending you all kinds of warm, positive energy for tomorrow's ER.

calliope said...

happy trigger day to you!
thinking good eggie thoughts all the way to friday (& beyond)
xo

Neenie/PawsNY said...

omg bleu sending you buttloads of luck tomorrow- YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!

Pepper said...

Sending lots of good ER vibes your way!

Tanya said...

Hoping for lots of eggies for you.

BTW... LOVE the new blog look.

annacyclopedia said...

Wishing you everything good tomorrow.

Melissa said...

Thinking about you-Hoping that the ER went well and you were just full of eggs.