open arms...

I watched a movie last night. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. It was an awful movie in so many ways but had those really typical touching Adam Sandler moments. I am not one for dumbed down humor usually but there was nothing but that or Knocked Up and I just couldn't face that one. Spanglish was one of his movies that I truly loved so I decided to give it a shot.

So in one part of the movie they play the song Open Arms after the guys "go Jr. High" and start slow dancing to hid the fact that they can't dance.

I started bawling.

I had to pause the movie and just cry cry cry. I know it was for tons of reasons. I am wound up with this feeling of waiting for the end, plus it brought back so many dances where you would just pray someone would ask you on THAT song, or Stairway to Heaven. Those were the two songs you just had to dance with someone on. I never really did.

I cried for the sad little girl I was back then, desperate for love and no clue what it was or how to find it.

I cried for the woman today who has so much love and is so desperate to give some more to another being.

I cried because it was so ridiculous to be crying.

Then I went to bed.

I am fine so far today. I just think it is going to be a roller coaster and I just have to ride it out. In the movie Parenthood there is this fantastic scene where the grandma talks about roller coaster and just enjoying the ride. I have always loved that scene. I am just trying to relax a bit and enjoy the ride, or at least not fight it every step of the way.